a psycological nightmare
by unspoiled rini
Summary: what happens when all your favoriate anime charaters go to a shrink?
1. Heero Yui

KONNICHI WA MINNA. WHAT DO U GET WHEN ALL OF THE CHARATERS OF YOUR FAVORITE ANIMES GO TO SEE A PSYCHIATREST, TWO FRIENDS ON A SUGAR RUSH A COUPLE OF DOG DEMONS AND FANFICTION.NET?  
  
Heero: Hnn  
  
Duo: Um a rich psychiatrist?  
  
Vera: Blackmail?  
  
Luna: Sibling rivalry?  
  
Sesshomaru: Me getting the Tesiga?  
  
Inu-Yasha: Me kicking your butt?  
  
Author: No you get an extremely funny and weird fanfic. Introducing a psychological nightmare. By Luna and Vera  
  
LUNA AND VERA: WE DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARATERS OR THEIR ANIMES ALTHOUGH WE WISH WE DID. (LUNA: ESPICALLY ALL THE SILVER/BLOND HAIRED BLUE EYED EVIL ONES) VERA GLARES AT LUNA. NOW OWN WITH THE STORY  
  
A PSYCHOLOGICAL NIGHTMARE  
SESSION ONE  
HEERO YUI (he will remain in monotone unless I say so)  
  
Vera the black Labrador dog demon sat up in her plush black chair and folded her hands neatly on her desk. Her partner and fellow psychritist Luna walked in followed behind by a boy with messy chocolate hair and cold blue eyes. Here's your first victim er I mean patient Vera-chan. She said as she left the room closing the door softly behind her. Vera looked at the boy who sat across from her on a comfortable dark purple couch. The boy just glared back at her. Vera however was not fazed.  
  
"What's your name?" she asked  
  
"Hnn" he grunted.  
  
"O.K. what about age?"  
  
"Hnn" again was the reply.  
  
"Well what about favorite color?"  
  
"Hnn"  
  
Vera rubbed her head in annoyance.  
  
"Is there anything else you say besides hnn" she asked annoyedly  
  
"Omae O Korosu." The boy answered in monotone.  
  
"Wow it speaks!" she exclaimed earning a pointed glare from the ex-pilot.  
  
"So let's try this again. Name?"  
  
"Heero Yui"  
  
"Age?"  
  
"16"  
  
"Birthday?"  
  
"Unknown."  
  
"Occupation?"  
  
Heero glared at the inu-youkai and reached where ever it is that he hides his gun for his gun only to find it's not there. While keeping an indifferent exterior inside a little chibi Heero ran around shouting NANI KUSO!!!!! Where's my gun!!!!  
  
"Such language is not necessary besides you won't find it. Not only is Luna my nee-chan and fellow psychiatrist but she's the best pickpocket in the business. Now occupation."  
  
"Ex-Gundam Pilot 01"  
  
"Do you know why you're here Heero?"  
  
"Hnn."  
  
"I see. I'll just take that as a no. you are here because of what we like to call T.H.S. or trigger happy syndrome among other things. So let's get to the root of the problem. Tell me about your childhood."  
  
The Japanese boy shrugged. "Not much to tell I was born orphaned raised by an assassin watched him die was found by Doctor J and became an assassin my self."  
  
"Hmmm well what was the holidays like?"  
  
"The last holiday I celebrated I was 5. I got a rocket launcher for a Christmas present. You do know I will have to kill you when this is over right?" he said reaching for another gun that he thought he had well hidden.  
  
"Nope and Luna got that one too. Says here in my files you have a girlfriend. Mind telling me about her?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Um you don't get it that wasn't an open question you have to tell me about her."  
  
"......"  
  
"Well?"  
  
"She a psychopathic stalker who is obvisouly part banshee has no concept of reality and thinks the words I will kill you is a proclamation of undying love. SHE IS NOT MY GIRLDFRIEND!!!"  
  
Vera writes down on her in her notepad while mumbling has feelings for her yet he deny them.  
  
"Omae O Korosu!"  
  
"Yes dear we've already discussed that." Mumbles while writing has unhealthy obsession with the words Omae O Korosu.  
  
"The last part of our session includes ink blobs." Vera holds up first ink blob that look like a bunny. "Tell me what you associate with them."  
  
"Duo Maxwell."  
  
Vera holds up an ink blob that looks like a duck.  
  
"Gundams."  
  
She holds up an ink blob that looks like a gun.  
  
"Teddy bear."  
  
Vera looks at him for a moment and then at the ink blob. "A teddy bear?! Are you sure?"  
  
"Hai."  
  
"O.K..... if you say so...." quickly writes treats guns as comfort items. She holds up an fink blob that looks like a puppy.  
  
Heero gets extremely sad look a tear rolls down his face but he wipes it away quickly thinking that Vera didn't see it. She however did but didn't say anything.  
  
"Mission failed"  
  
"I see and what was this mission"  
  
"Access denied."  
  
"O.K back to the ink blobs then." Vera holds up an ink blob that looks like a hideous ugly creepy snakehaired woman.  
  
Heero eyes grew impossibly wide and he begin sweating and shaking.  
  
"RELINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed before getting up and running out the door.  
  
Vera looked surprised for a second before writing down in her note pad. Unusual emotional outburst for the "perfect solider" I do believe we're making progress. Again Vera looked out the open door and sweatdropped.  
  
"Hmmm I do believe that is the end of today's session. Next victim er I mean patient please." 


	2. Wufei Chang

We of GER do not own any of these anime.  
  
Avia: We just   
  
Vera: Like to   
  
Luna: torture the characters.   
  
If you have a character you would like us to torture please review and name the character you want us to torture and what show they are from (just incase we haven't seen the show we can look it up.) non anime characters are allowed as well.  
  
A PSYCHOLOGICAL NIGHTMARE  
  
SESSION TWO  
  
CHANG WUFEI  
  
Vera was looking through her bookcase when the door opened.

"Vera-Chan," Luna called. "Wufei is here for his next session."

Vera quickly stuffed a book back onto the case, and spun around to see the Siberian husky demon taking a seat in the back of the room, and the Chinese boy sitting in his usual seat across from her desk.

"Good morning, Wufei." She smiled. "How are you doing today?"

"None of your business, baka onna."

"Must all sessions start out this way?" she asked more to herself then him. "We were making some headway last time; I'd like to pick up there."

Wufei glared.

"Why do you dislike women so much?"

"They're weak."

"Why do you say that?"

"They.........just are."

"That's a convincing argument, Wufei, but please just give me a straight answer. When did this dislike of women start?"

Wufei did something no one expected; he sniffled.

"When Nataku died."

The psychologist was stunned. Had Wufei really just answered her? Better yet did he just sniffle? Luna snickered. "W

ho is Nataku?" She asked. "You've never mentioned her before."  
  
"Ooh juicy gossip" said Luna grinning evilly.  
  
"My sniffle wife." He grumbled as he rolled his eyes.  
  
Shocked again...who'd be dumb enough to marry him?

"Why did this make you hate women?"

"She died because...Breaks into hysterical sobs. She was weak!"

"Luna-Chan, please get Wufei a box of tissue..." Vera asked the husky.

"Hai, Nee-Chan." Luna did as she was asked barely hiding her snickers, and Vera motioned for him to continue.

"She was a baka onna because she went to fight when she knew she'd loose!" He blew his nose loudly, sounding like a foghorn.  
  
Luna made a disgusted look as he tried to hand her back the tissue.

"Who was she fighting?" The black lab questioned.

Wufei completely broke down. "Oz." He managed to say, although it was hard to understand though his girly sounding cry.

"I'll get some more tissue........." Vera said, sweatdropping as Wufei curled up into a fetal position and Luna proceeded to poke at him.

She was about to hand him a new box of Kleenex when he suddenly latched onto her and began crying on her shoulder.

'Nee-Chan.........get the Chinese Leech off of me.........' Vera begged Luna telepathically. 'This is a brand new kimono.........he's going to ruin it.........'

Luna, however, was rolling on the floor with hysterics at Vera's predicament. After about an hour of turning several interesting shades of blue, she was able to pry herself loose. Wufei sat there, and blew his foghorn of a nose for the millionth time.

"Well, Wufei, it looks like we're about out of time.........I'll see you next week........."

"Bu...Bu......sniffle Bu....." Wufei looked disappointed and mewled slightly, wiping his poofy red eyes.

"Here, snicker dry your eyes snicker." Luna said, handing him a large handkerchief

"Yeah." Vera added. "We don't want the other boys to know you've been crying, do we?" She pinched his cheek, shaking his head from side to side (Ya know, like those really old woman relatives do)

"No." He sniffled. "Thank you.........clears throat Baka onna. Oh and no one hears of this. Especially a certain braided baka."

Avia held the door open as he walked out.

"Bye wimp." She said, causing him to break down again.

"That's what Nataku used to call meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" He wailed loudly, running away.

"I think he's gay........." Luna observed with a rather large sweatdrop on the back of her head.

"He was married." Avia pointed out.

"Haven't you ever heard of cover-up marriages?" Vera questioned.

"True.........True........" the other two commented nodding their heads.

"Oh yeah!" Luna exclaimed, reaching into her pocket and pulled out Duo. (She has endless pockets.........for a better explanation, read "Hikari Kouri Hi" By Avia now under Unspoiledrini)

Vera took the book back down from the case, revealing a video camera

"You got the goods?" Duo asked, walking up to her.

"Of course." Vera replied. "Don't forget our deal. You've got to take care of Usagi(Vera's puppy-bunny-thing) Neko(Luna's giant magenta cat) Shippo, and Avia's pack while we're gone on our vacation."

"How hard could it be?" Duo asked, grinning. (AN: Famous last words!)

Avia whistled and all of the above mentioned characters ran in. The last thing the three dog demons heard as they left was Duo asking for help from Kami-Sama and Shippo calling his braid "Prettyful."

"See ya in a week Duo-chan." They called in unison.  
  
"Wait........... No............Gah!!!! Hey that's my braid!!!! Avia? Vera? Luna?"


	3. Trowa Barton

Disclaimer: We of G.E.R. do not own any of the anime featured in this fic.

Vera: No Bishonen were hurt in the making of this chapter.

Avia: Just Trowa.

Luna: Not that he's a bishonen or anything but…he dose have pretty eyes…at least the one we can see.

Vera and Avia: "…"

If you have a character you would like us to torture please review and name the character you want us to torture and what show they are from (just in case we haven't seen the show we can look it up.) non anime characters are allowed as well.

**PSYCHOLOGICAL NIGHTMARE**

**CHAPTER 3**

**TROWA**

Vera sighed, leaning back in the chair, awaiting the next victim er patient with a bored expression. Opening the door, Luna stepped in and with a sweatdrop and walked over. "Uh, Nee-chan... we got a small problem."

"What is it?"

A loud thump just outside the door drew both their attention. A very aggravated Catherine shoved Trowa into the room, promptly slamming the door before he can turn around to escape.

Vera smiled happily. "Ah, Trowa Barton. Right on time."

Trowa simply glanced at her with his usual blank mask.

"You do know why you're visiting today, don't you?"

"Because of Catherine. She seems to believe I have a problem."

Vera quirked an eyebrow. "Oh does she now? Well, I will be the judge of that. Have a seat."

"I'll stand, thanks."

"Fine, we'll do this the hard way."

Trowa almost seemed to smirk. "Then shall we get this over with?"

"Very well, we'll start from your last visit. According to your sister, Catherine, you're hiding something. Well, that's descriptive."

Luna smirked slightly. "Well, what did ya expect, Nee-chan? He hangs out with Heero after all."

"Anyway. Trowa, are there any secrets that you... Oh ...say...fear?"

Trowa closed his eyes for a moment. "No."

"Are you sure? Because I'm here to help you, but in order for me to help you I need you to help me. Help me help you Trowa it IS after all my job."

Luna got a confused look on her face. "Nani? Nee what did you just say? I don't get it."

Vera waved her hand dismissively at Luna. "You don't have to. All that matters is if he does. Now, I know that you're afraid of something. So, spill."

Trowa muttered something under his breath.

"What? I'm afraid you'll have to speak louder. I'm kinda deaf in these old dog ears." Vera said.

"What are you talking about? I'm older than you are and I hear just fine." Avia said from her ominous corner of doom.

"I said...Clowns."

All three psychiatrists tried their hardest to not burst out laughing with out much success. "But...Trowa...aren't you…"

"Aren't I what?"

Luna grins. "What's your job in the circus?"

"I am a mime."

"And, you're afraid of clowns?" Vera asked.

"Correct. I do not see the connection."

"Maybe that's because your hair is covering one of your eyes there. Trowa, a mime IS a clown." Avia supplied

Trowa's eyes widen immensely. "What did you just say?"

Luna smiles. "Here, put on your mask."

He did so, cautiously keeping an eye on the three of them.

"Good. Now, look in the mirror over there." Avia instructed.

"…" Trowa threw his mask to the floor, with a look of pure horror on his face. "I…I'm a…I'm a clown!" He said freaking out and running in small circles.

Avia promptly walked over from standing ominously in the corner to grab him. "Shut it, baka."

"Well, that's one way to handle it. Okay Trowa, now we're making progress. Why are you afraid of clowns?" Vera asked.

Trowa shook away from Avia, seemingly calm once again. "I will not tell."

"And why is that?"

"Access denied."

"Ah, I see. Someone's been around Heero too much. Very well then, We have ways of finding out. Avia if you would."

Avia whistled and two of the largest wolves in her pack came bursting in. "This is Cujo and Et Tu Brute or Brutis for short. They are my jump out wolves. Now if you don't cooperate they'll have a new mime squeak toy." She threatened.

"Anno but Nee the clown doesn't squeak. He just goes "…" like Heero" Luna said.

"Clown where?" Trowa asked losing his cool composure once again.

"How many times do we have to tell you THERE!" The three of them yelled pointing at him.

"Now are you going to tell us or are you going to be a chew toy?" Vera asked nicely.

"Fine." Trowa grumbled. "The reason I'm afraid of clowns is because….one spontaneously combusted right in front of me at the circus when I was younger. He was so close he burned my popcorn. I cried for weeks and weeks at a time until I became a pilot and learned to put such emotions behind me."

"Except for this apparently." Vera added. "I think that'll be all for this week. Next week we'll talk about your obvious obsession with my bishi Quatre."

"And vice versa." Avia sneezed.

"They're gay." Luna coughed.

" Oh and Trowa? Watch out for those clowns. You do work in a circus after all." Vera goaded giving an evil demonic glare at her two sisters.

Trowa paled slightly, darting out the door.

"Nee-chan, I got it on video." Luna smiles slightly.

"Good. And who said a little blackmail hurt anyone. We'll just keep this someplace safe, until it comes in handy." She took the tape and stashed it with a surprisingly large collection of others in her desk. "Next victim."


End file.
